Filed under: Philosophy of the Person
NOTE : This should have been posted three weeks ago, but due to time constraints… well, why do we have to explain, anyway? We just hope it is not yet too late for Mister Phil Anders to apply this in his life.
The worst lies are those that are not told, but those that are kept deep in the heart that makes the liar count sheep just to get to sleep.
Haven’t you been reading the papers? No? So you haven’t read that the thing between you and that pretty married woman is no news for us? No? Really? Shame on you for not watching your back while you’re philandering. That explains our ‘why-are-we-not-surprised’ reaction.
Thing here is, nobody should care about that. After all, it’s your life. And nobody would really care, save for your wife, your kids, the pretty woman’s hubby, and her kids. Nice reminder, isn’t it? You really have the knack for drawing yourself so close to danger, don’t you think so? Congratulations, Mister Phil Anders! Welcome to the real world! Make a mental note about the in-laws who may, or may not, know about this.
Now, let’s try to do some bantering stuff, so you may have an idea on how despicable you are.
Let’s quote you. Yes, let’s! Let’s call this Mister Phil Anders Philosophy 101. Yes, let’s!
[Quote deleted intentionally. Getting a subpoena for slander is not my idea of kicks.]
Mister Phil Anders, it’s true that we cannot get everything our heart desires. But what more could you ask for? Sex life? Variety? Excitement? A break from your bland existence? Someone new to talk to? Are those what you do not have, Mister Phil Anders? Don’t tell us we don’t know a thing. We know everything we are supposed to know—that you are bored with your existence and you do not know what to do with your overflowing libido because your wife goes home tired and exhausted from work and you want to vent this libido out not to her because she is currently unavailable, so you vent it out to some pretty married dumb woman, camouflage it with words like “This is life and this is not an accident” to justify your lust.
Cut the crap, Mister Phil Anders. It’s true we don’t know what the future holds for us, but that does not give us the license to make all the selfish choices for all the chances presented to us by fate. Don’t you have the balls to stand by your decision to keep your marriage untainted? Is it destiny that led you to this philandering stuff, or is it your choices leading you to your own damnation?
It’s true, you’re not perfect, nobody is—but how much more mistakes would you have to make to be able to see how imperfect we human beings could really be? Instead of rediscovering that we are indeed imperfect, why don’t we try to prove otherwise—that human beings, too, can be perfect?
We all have weaknesses… but what would make you a better person / husband / father, if you overcome these weaknesses or if you succumb to them?
A question, Mister Phil Anders : Do you still love your wife? If you don’t, do you at least have some respect left for her, if not as your wife, respect as your friend or as another human being? What she doesn’t know won’t kill her? Come on! Don’t you think she doesn’t smell your lover’s perfume lingering in her car? No matter where you go, where you hide, whether you keep this going for a lifetime, it is still you who will be carrying these stones in your pocket even when you are already buried six feet under.
The problem with you is that you do not tell your wife everything she needs to know to change herself. We all know you are insecure because she earns more, holds more power, it’s her in-laws that gave you that job and you just smile with it, not showing everyone that she is trampling on your ego because you want to pass yourself on as the perfect, giving, understanding husband but it’s killing you, doesn’t it? You take everything she gives you and you make her feel it’s okay, but deep inside you are whining, complaining, exploding because The Big Sturdy Ego of Mister Phil Anders is being lambasted but he cannot complain because he is trying to protect something—is it his image, that he does not want to show the world that the macho, male chauvinist pig is actually an insecure, unloved husband, uncared for chicken shit? Hit you there, Mister Phil Anders, hard and right where it hurts.
If you want things to change, you make it happen—you do not just sit there and wait for time to move its hands and effect the changes. And definitely, doing something wrong in return for not getting what you want is an immature way of handling things. If you think you married the wrong person after more than a decade of living under the same roof with her, have the guts to tell this to her face! If you think otherwise, make your marriage work and start talking—shout if you must but make sure you are heard loudly and clearly.
Come to think of it, Mister Phil Anders. Love, attention, and the pilot seat are what you do not have, because if you have been showered with these all through the twelve years of being in the marriage, you would not have resorted to philandering. Those are what you cannot admit to yourself, that you want love, attention, and the pilot seat. These are pushing you to look for someone who can give these to you. Illusions of grandeur. You’re just making yourself feel worse.
The married woman cannot give you love and attention—not the way you want to because she has a family of her own. What about the pilot seat? The pilot seat? Pilot seat in what? At least you are treated as an equal, not someone who has to take the backseat, is that it? Between the married woman’s family and you, you must—an imperative, Mister Phil Anders—take the backseat because that is where you belong. Don’t you think you’re in a far worse situation? Between your wife’s career and you, you are compelled to sometimes—sometimes, mind you—take the backseat. This sometimes can become a no-no if only you have the guts to demand for your chance to be in the spotlight. Having the right to demand for that is out of the question. You are her husband and the father of her children. These are more than enough to give you the right to tell her, “Hey, hey… You’re stepping on my ego! Why don’t you let me have my place in the sun and not just a cool shade in your shadow? I need the limelight, too!”
But who knows… maybe the reason why you married your wife was because she was the biggest catch and all this philandering is merely an effect of not having married for the right reasons. We don’t know about you, but if we get married, there is only one valid reason for doing so—and that is because we love the person we are tying the knots with and we are willing to make him/her our only one come heaven or inferno—and we are going to make sacrifices as long as we can and if we cannot, we will voice this out and compel our partner to meet us halfway.
And wait, wait, wait, waitaminitkapingmainit… You said your wife has been hot in bed lately. Don’t you think that’s woman instinct working on inside her? Don’t you think she knows? Don’t you take that as a sign?
We know, you’re old enough to suffer the consequences of your actions, but we think you are too young to differentiate right between wrong, Good from Evil. And when someone as old as thirty-nine acts as if he’s a seven year old boy, we should hit him with a blunt instrument such as a spike of a forklift… with the forklift attached.
We cannot do anything for you about this fall, Mister Phil Anders. You are already in the pit. It’s up to your hands if you want to remain in that pit or if you want to climb up and make sure you watch your step and never fall again. We are only here to remind you of the real situation and to suggest that you do some soul searching before you stay in that pit. One mistake is enough to teach us a lesson for a lifetime. Two makes us quite stupid. Three, an addict. In the fourth or fifth, we pray that you lose everything you have right now because that is what you truly deserve.
We don’t hate you, Mister Phil Anders, but we hate what you do. We hate everyone who lives the same kind of life as you do, who makes decisions the way you do because Mister Phil Anders… YOU DO NOT HAVE THE PRUDENCE TO SET VALUES FOR YOURSELF AND THE STRENGTH TO HOLD ON TO YOUR CONVICTIONS. We will be praying for you and your kind to go bald before you all turn fifty so you can sing Zsa Zsa Padilla’s Hiram with gusto. (Because by that age, you would have to ‘borrow’ hair from different parts of your head to cover up those ‘now showing’ and ‘coming soon’ neon ads.) Yes, we will pray. After all, as JZ put it, those who constantly worry about their hair are condemned to lose it.
Take this against us if you want to, Mister Phil Anders. We don’t give a flying fuck. If your other friends cannot tell you these things, we’re not going to say sorry for having the courage to stab you in the front. We, as your friends, will tell you everything you need to hear—even if we would have to take the risk of severing ties with you.
Ciao!
